a bearable lightness of being

It's a reflection of the flash in her eyes, of course. She's not actually demonic . . . though I do sometimes say her name is "Sadie, short for Sadist," because of how she used to bite down too hard when she had her puppy teeth.
__________________

It's been way too heavy lately. I was going through a self-indulgent "nobody likes me" state of mind, thanks in part to a series of frustrating and unsuccessful auditions (as well was a few auditions I didn't get called about that I don't understand). But then something outside of me really shook me:

On the day before my 39th birthday, someone very close to me passed away.

I won't go into details on this. I've tried to -- typed it, erased it, typed it again, erased it again. Too heavy. I'll leave it at this for now: the world is a better place for having her in it.

And recently I performed an Iago monologue for an audition. Just awful. Horrible. I said all the words right, I chewed the scenery, but there wasn't anything behind it. I couldn't bring it. I just didn't want to "be there."

So I stared in the mirror and I gazed at my navel, and then remembered that the me that I like is more accurately represented by this than by Iago:

I've been too much the angst-y teenager lately. My apologies.

Soon, assuming things work out okee-dokee, I'll be telling you about my upcoming show for the Fringe festival.

I'm Here To Tell You That I'll Be Here Soon

Hi.

I'm coming back.

Bzzzt. Bzzzzt.

If I'd Had a Pet Like This as a Kid, the Bullies Woulda Been His Lunch

Have you seen this?

Surely you have, this news is a coupla weeks old. But just in case . . .

The tyrannosaurus rex wishes it were this guy. Teeth a foot long. A skull double the size of T.R.'s. A bite with 4 times the force. Coming in at about 50 feet long, 45 tons. It's a new species of pliosaur that the paleontologists have dubbed "Predator X" -- which sounds like a great name for a bad Sci-Fi movie. How long ya think it'll take 'em to make that one?

The Last Coupla Weeks

We've been plugging along on Heidi rehearsals the last couple of weeks.

Early on, I had to try on wooden clogs -- like these:
Turns out those clogs were meant for the character "Peter," not the actor Peter (I'm sometimes called "the real Peter" in rehearsal now). That's all fine with me -- I'm quite happy to have tried them on, and quite happy that I wasn't going to be wearing them during the show -- they weren't uncomfortable, really, but they're not practical. Like wearing a pair of small boats. Or really short stilts. I suspect it was a fashion thing, like high heels, except without the pain (turns out they won't be in the show, anyway, too impractical for the show).

We're using goat puppets in the show, so I've been researching goat movement with some help from YouTube. It just so happens that there is a kind of goat that faints (sort of) when startled, due to a genetic disorder called myotonia congenita. Think that's odd? How about this: The International Fainting Goats Association, an organization dedicated to the breeding and showing these goats.

And I and most of the rest of the cast and various other folks from Imagination Stage went to the residence of the Swiss ambassador for a little soiree. Some of the cast (not including me) sang a couple of songs from the show, and we listened to a few brief speeches from the ambassador and some of the Imagination Stage higher-ups. Then time for drinks, hors d' oeuvres, and shmoozing. The ambassador's residence is a spectacular pad designed by Steven Holl. Check the link for details and pics, it's a very green, award winning, modern building.

Non-Heidi related -- last Sunday, we had that staged reading of Unseen Hand at Rep Stage. Not many people in the audience, maybe a dozen, but we expected low number because of the date change. One of Sam Shepard's earlier pieces, it's an interesting, odd play -- a 120 year old cowboy-outlaw, a genetically-modified baboon from another planet, with some social commentary.

Interesting life.

3 Months

I haven't written because I thought I wouldn't have anything to write about. So, what's happened in three months?

Performed in that scene from Eccentricities of the Nightingale. It went well, thank you very much.

Choreographed / coached the fights / violence for two more scenes for that Studio Theatre directing class -- one from Speed the Plow, which Yvonne Erickson directed, the other from The Dutchman directed by Phoebe Duncan. A lot of that turned out to be not so much violence itself, but creating the threat of violence, which in a way is more valuable -- the threat continues the tension.

Went to Mississippi with Jenny, to visit relations. We also visited Elvis Presley's birthplace (Tupelo).
Came up with a couple of somewhat interesting anagrams. Here you go:
DICK CHENEY = NEEDY CHICK
TOM CRUISE = MICE TOURS
PETER BOYER = TOY PER BEER (or, BEER PER TOY, take your pick)

Watched the inauguration of Barack Obama. On TV, we didn't go into the city. But it was still cool.

Did a quick industrial for the FAA. Me in coat and tie, and reading (somewhat, I knew the script fairly well) a teleprompter sitting over the other guy's shoulder. Acting while using a teleprompter is odd, because you're "reacting" to someone you're not actually looking at (from the camera angle, you can't tell that we're not actually looking at each other).

(And a friend of mine turned into a polar bear. Temporarily, I hope).

Gave a pretty decent audition at the AEA Liaison Committee auditions. For those not in the know, those are annual auditions for the Equity theatres (and a casting agent or two) in the DC / Baltimore area. Up to three minutes of monologue-and/or-song.

And since I'm on the Liaison Committee, I was also at both days of these auditions, all day, as a volunteer. Besides being such a swell guy, I'm doing what I can to be visible. And it's a way to learn more about auditions, what to do, or not to do. Like this -- a lot of actors keep their feet nailed to the floor during the monologue. That's a mistake.

Got a call about a callback for a show at Folger, but that didn't pan out due to that show's overlap with Heidi. Hey, nice they called, means they're thinking of me.

Had a callback for Shear Madness at the Kennedy Center. Didn't get in this time around . . . but made a decent showing.

Auditioned for a small indie film. Got the role. Then shortly before the shoot date arrived in mid-February, the director *disappeared*. He won't return calls or e-mails. I'm still looking for him, so that if he doesn't have a really good reason, I can talk to him like an angry New Yorker.

PA'ed (PA = production assistant) for a photo shoot for a training thing for the TSA, done at Dulles Airport. Three days, and on the third day I was also a model.

Had a couple of callbacks for shows at Imagination Stage. No news yet, but these just happened, in the past few days.

Almost did a staged reading for Rep Stage of Sam Shepard's The Unseen Hand -- postponed because of the arrival of snow.

As you can clearly see, the last three months have been uneventful.

Rehearsals for Heidi start tomorrow. And that staged reading I just mentioned was rescheduled for Sunday, March 15th at 2pm, being presented at Howard Community College, in Columbia, MD -- and it's free, yo.

Ferrets of the English Restoration

I'm in rehearsals for a scene from The Eccentricities of a Nightingale by Tennessee Williams, playing the role of John -- Natasha Staley is playing Alma, Yvonne Erickson is directing the scene. This for the directing class at the Studio Theatre, so I'll get to show a bit more of my acting chops there (outside of the minute-or-two on-your-own audition). And this gives me the chance to chew on some poetic realism, which I haven't done for awhile. Yummy stuff, and Natasha and Yvonne are both very high quality, so we're really getting to dig in.

And by the way, I did a few drawings during the run of The Way of the World. Here's one:

And We're Back. Happy Birthday, Mom.

So I've been away for awhile.

See, here's why: I've been going through the tedious but necessary task of converting this blog from analog to digital, so I will now be able to transmit it to you without using rabbit ears. Through the magic of modern technology, you will now be able to view my blog exactly as you've viewed it before.

Recent news:

The Way of the World has closed. Great cast, I'll miss those folks.

My previous entry contained a bit much hubris, and karma was nice enough to bite me on the rear, or rather my lower back. I tweaked my back almost immediately after writing that entry, causing pain that lasted about a week.

But I am still proud of my work as an understudy. And I believe that good understudies are way underrated. They are like kickers in football, little attention but major day savers -- would the Colts or the Pats have made it to the superbowl without Adam Vinatieri? Can you name any other kickers? Have you noticed how many games are won by last-second field goals?

There was an election earlier this month. I'm very happy with how the presidential race came out. Even popped some champagne. I'm not at all happy with how Prop 8 in California went.

My mom's birthday was yesterday, and I missed it. I'm a horrible son. I'm also a horrible brother / cousin / nephew / grandson / in-law / friend, because I miss people's b-days all the time. I haven't missed Jen's b-day so far, though, because I value my life.

Jen and I have moved to a house (though we're still renting) with a basement and a fenced-in backyard. I like being in a new place. But I hate, hate, HATE moving! (It used to be easy, when everything I owned fit in my jeep. Now I have a significant other, and a dog, and a bunch of stuff. Where did all this stuff come from?).

Doing My Job

Apologies. I've put in long hours at the Shakespeare Theatre in rehearsals for The Way of The World (or traveling to and from -- I have a long commute). Some of those hours were spent in the greenroom, waiting to rehearse my little bits. I read, I chatted, I went over lines and blocking for my roles ("The Messenger" and "The Footman") and my understudy roles ("Witwould" and "Petulant"). Understudies often get very little rehearsal time, and it often happens after the first audiences show up.

I've known some understudies who've done little or no preparation, and fortunately not gone on. And I've heard horror stories of those that had. Some people think I have good discipline, but it may be the fear of embarassment that drives me here, I can't handle every day praying please don't let me be put on the spot today I'm not ready. I'd rather put in the work and not go on than go on unprepared and embarass the theatre and myself.

So -- Saturday, Oct. 4th: unforeseen circumstances threw me into the role of "Petulant" for two preview performances. Suddenly there I was in front of an audience, trying to hold my own with actors who had been rehearsing these scenes for weeks. At this point, I had only officially rehearsed the first scene in this role, and never with the regular actors.

But I did a lot of side work beforehand. Both shows went off without a hitch. I even managed to cover someone else's line flub but slightly changing one of mine. The first performance fried my brain, the second performance, I had some fun. I even had a number of compliments from peers who were onstage with me and in the audience that day.

"Thank you, thank you. Please -- just doing my job."

DUSTIN LOOMIS = SMILODON SUIT

This a picture of Dustin Loomis and Barbara Callander in Unnecessary Farce, which is currently showing at Wayside Theatre and is getting great reviews.

Dustin and I worked together once on a production of Twelfth Night at Cumberland Theatre.

Here's the thing: "Dustin Loomis" is an anagram for "Smilodon Suit."

Coincidence? Some look to anagrams to reveal hidden meanings, i.e., "Veep Dick Cheney" is an anagram for "Prince of Darkness" (okay, it's not, but would it really be a surprise if true?). I express no such belief in anagrams, myself, but I do love starting a good rumor.

So, let's look at Mr. Loomis . . . could he be a prehistoric creature in human disguise? The smilodon (a.k.a. the "saber-toothed tiger") might be rather tall, if standing on its hind legs, and Dustin is rather tall . . . hmm . . . .

Playing Ketchup

Back on the blog train.

I've been a busy boy. Baltimore Shakespeare Festival's Taming of the Shrew opened July 18th, closed August 3rd. I started rehearsals for Wayside Theatre's Moonlight and Magnolias on July 22nd, which opened August 8th and closed August 24th.

Wayside and BSF are 115 miles apart, so to pull off both shows with these the overlapping dates, I did a lot of driving -- 2000 miles in 2 weeks. Add to that, in both shows I did a lot of scenery chewing. By the time Shrew closed and we got into the final week of rehearsal for M&M, I was getting a bit googly-eyed. But -- I was having a ball, being so busy doing what I like.

Three days after M&M closed, I started rehearsals for Way of the World at the Shakespeare Theatre. It's a rare and beautiful thing in this business to go from one job right to another like that.

Now if we're lucky, I'll get back to regular posting, and I'll tell you about sliding on banana peels and getting slapped on a daily basis, gigantic 17-year-old goldfish, fiberglass dinosaurs, and who knows what else. If we're lucky.

Meanwhile, here's a link to pictures from Moonlight & Magnolias.