Sunday, May 31, 2009

a bearable lightness of being

This is Sadie.  Short for Sadist, because of how she used to bite down too hard when she had her puppy teeth.

It's been way heavy lately. A series of frustrating and unsuccessful auditions (as well was a few auditions I didn't get called about that I don't understand). And then something outside of me really shook me:

On the day before my 39th birthday, someone very close to me passed away.
I won't go into details on this, except to say: The world is a better place for having her in it.

And recently I performed an Iago monologue for an audition. Just awful. Horrible. I said all the words right, but there wasn't anything behind it. I couldn't bring it. I just didn't want to "be there."

So I stared in the mirror and I gazed at my navel, and then remembered that the me I like is more accurately represented by this than by Iago: