And today, while returning from a commercial audition, I saw something odd on the Baltimore beltway. On the back of a broken down, big rig truck, on a sort of modified flatbed, I saw what looked like the back end of a tank. And when I passed it, I realized it was a tank, painted in desert camouflage (fortunately, I was not in desert, cuz then, I might not've been able to see it, right?). It just seemed strange. First, how much does one of those things weigh? And second -- it's odd to see such a representation of might and power, of irresistible force, just stuck there on the side of the road!
And now, without transition, I shall tell you about the second ceremony, the handfasting:
June 20 -- The Handfasting
Okay. A “handfasting” is a Celtic-pagan sort of ritual. Why did we do this? Well . . . We wanted something a little different, something a bit more free-form. We wanted something for some of our local friends. We wanted something in which my mom and my sister Amy could play important roles. To be honest, that last one was the most important reason for me.
The ceremony took place outdoors, late in the Tuesday afternoon (mid-summer’s eve, the day before the Summer Solstice), at the small octagonal stage at Howard Community College. Many of those who came are HCC students and alums, people who have gotten to be friends through Yo Mama’s Cookin’ (the improv group that Jenny co-directs with Bruce Nelson) or through productions that Jenny and I have been a part of -- Christmas Carol (an adaptation that Jen directed and I made masks for), Love Hurts (the fight / dance show that Jen directed and I was head writer and asst. dir. for).
Sue Kramer officiated. Sue heads the HCC Student-Alumni Arts Association and is a friend of mine and Jenny’s of a few years now. Amy was my best “person,” and Michael Wood (a friend and HCC’er of many hats) was the “man“ of honor. Sue brought some “props,” you could say. A true theatre person, she is! Items, to indicate the directions.
Mom, who is the de facto expert in pagan matters, created a circle for our ceremony.
Okay -- the ceremony begins. Sue is onstage. Amy and Michael walk down the aisle, then Jen and I. And then Sue goes to the script (supplied by me and Jen, like in the first ceremony). She starts by describing what a handfasting is, which, uh, Jen and I figured out by researching online, and much of our text was pretty much pirated. Then she honors the four directions. Then my mother does a blessing, a marvelous blessing for our union, wishing us plenty of love and laughter. Then, we exchange rings. Amy held the one that I put on Jen’s hand, and Michael held the one Jen put on mine. And then Sue ties us up.
Kidding! KIDDING! Okay, here’s where handfasting gets its name. Amy and Michael also carried cords, which I made from colored floss, the same sort of stuff used to make friendship bracelets. The marital union is a binding of two souls and the cords are symbolic of this: that 1) we will honor and respect each other, 2) we will share and seek to ease each other’s pain and 3) we’ll share each other’s burdens and seek to grow together, and 4) we will share each other’s laughter, each other’s brightness, and each other’s “positivity.” A cord is tied around our joined hands for each.
And once we are “bound,” Sue presents us to the attendees, the audience, the “gathered throng.” And we walk down the aisle again, to cheers and to the flashing of cameras.
And then we went to a bar called The Judge’s Bench to celebrate, where there were drinks and many appetizers, and at one point a special performance by Tinted Windows, the marvelous and funny two-person band comprised of Ashanti and Candace Cooper.
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